Happy Monday! Hope you all had a good weekend. We both slept in pretty late this weekend, which was much needed! One of us (Alexis) went on a short run yesterday and we made a late brunch of blueberry waffles with coconut cream. SO GOOD! We also got to spend some time with our family, and that is always nice.
On a different note, I (Alexis) wanted to write about a topic that a lot of you have requested, and one that I think is therapeutic to write about sometimes. I don’t like to get too personal on here, especially about relationships, just because some stuff has to be private, you know? I also think that it is something we all go through at some point, and it is comforting to know other people go through it, too.
In 2018, I went through two breakups, so the beginning of 2019 has been the year of focusing on myself and my self care and love. I am not going to sit here and tell you either breakup was easy to go through, because it isn’t, but I can tell you, as cliche as it sounds, I have learned more about myself with each breakup, and even more since I have been single.
Of course, everyone says dating and relationships are about learning about who you ultimately want to spend your life with, and with that comes figuring out who you are, what you want, characteristics you don’t want in a partner, parts of their lives you want to be supportive of (or not).
I truly believe that. It is about refining and refining, and figuring out who is the best match for YOU, and compliments you.
I can tell you I learned A TON from my relationships and breakups. I’ve had experiences with addictions, insecurities, some cases that bordered on verbal abuse, and so much more that I swore I would never put up with, but again, it happens, and we all go through it at some point or another. Have I sat there and cried for hours, felt sorry for myself, and just been down? 100 percent.
You have to go through those feelings and really deal with the breakup. Burying those feelings, or not addressing them will only make it worse.
When I was in each relationship, I was so wrapped up in it that I didn’t realize how much I felt like I had changed in the relationship, and that I had lost who I was. I do think you can evolve as a person, but you should’t lose who you are and your values. In some of them, I found myself constantly stressed and angry, and ready to snap at any point, which is not a way to live.
With some of my breakups, I had been drained emotionally and had so many rollercoasters of emotions throughout it, that once it ended, I was ready to move on quicker than others.
After my last relationship, I expected to feel ready to jump back into the dating scene (which is a whole other post in itself), but honestly, I wasn’t, and still am not.
I am truly taking this time to focus on ME, which I really haven’t done in a few years. As silly as it sounds, I didn’t want to end some of my other relationships because the thought of having to date again, and do this whole song and dance felt like torture. Don’t get me wrong, it is great to meet people, but it does get old after a while.
The other times I was ready to jump back in, I was just ready to date again. It had nothing to do with rebounding, or not being able to be alone. This time it just feels different.
It is comforting to know I have so many people in my corner, always supporting me, and also knowing and trusting it will all fall into place when it is right. I have my moments, thinking that it feels like everyone is in a relationship and happy, and feel like I am just getting older, and time is passing me by, but then I think about how much I have learned and grown, and know it is all supposed to be this way.
I also want to note that what you see on social media is not how it always appears. Of course, there are happy moments, but there is so much behind the scenes that we don’t all get to see. I think it is also important to realize YOU have to be ready to leave and move on. Trust me, you will know when it needs to happen. I got that intuition in ALL of my relationships, and I think that is probably the biggest factor in not regretting ending it (at least to me!)
Some of what has helped me (and what I am focusing on) is surrounding yourself with people that bring out the best in you, actually talking about it with friends or family, journaling what you love about yourself/what you don’t love, what you want in a future partner, things that you could improve on, etc. I also think this is a time to embrace doing stuff on your own time. Want to eat dinner at 5PM? Want to sleep in until 10 AM? Want to lay on the couch like a bum? Well, you can because all you have to focus on is yourself. And, yes, it feels amazing.
I am honestly just really content right now and not in any hurry to date someone, which I feel like is unlike me, but I really think this is all for a reason, and I am just feeling so grateful for my family and friends (some newer and some older), and for all of you! Like I said, I have my moments, but overall, I am so thankful.
On a side note, for those of you just here for the outfit details, which I can’t hate on, I LOVE these mules from Sole Society. We have them in blush suede and leopard and they are so comfy! We love them with this blush shrug cocoon sweater and this white tote (great for traveling or every day).
This hat (also from Sole Society) is a great spring hat when you don’t want to look too beach-y!
{ Blush Shrug Sweater | Blush Snakeskin Mule Sneakers | White Tote Bag |Neutral Hat | Denim Shorts | Mesh Cami | Curling Iron | Nail Color | Toe Polish | Necklace | BRACELETS: David Yurman Cable Bracelets here, here, and here and Cartier Love Bracelet | RINGS: David Yurman Ring here and here | WATCH: Apple Watch and Leopard Band }
In partnership with Sole Society.
